June 8, 2025 - bloghan 50

The big number 50. I really wish I had a better bloghan to give you this week, I really do, but... Well, this week there wasn't really all that much that happened. This felt like such a repetitive week, with barely anything different happening day by day. But I can hear them... faintly, far away, the days where my life was like a musical..! THey're almost here! BUt until then, here's some highlights of the very few things this week that actually differentiated the days:

Tier list of the week

This week's tier list: standard Canadian legal tender, which means regular coins and dollar bills. Here's the tier list:

Ordered tiers, unordered wthin tiers. As a little disclaimer, I used to collect coins for a long time, and I feel as though that experience makes me value them more than the average person. I just love the loonie and the toonie - they're so iconic in both name and size and aggh! Usually special circulation coins are quarters, but it's always such a treat when it's a loonie or a toonie that's been changed! Also, just having the unit of the currency be a coin make so much more sense than having it be a bill, because the smaller size matches up with it being a smaller amount. It's smaller than a bill, and I don't get why people dislike coins so much... the dime and the quarter are as high as they are because of the story behind the former and the flexibility of the special circulation coins of the latter, but nickles are lower because I always get them mixed up with quarters when I'm not fully focusing on which coins I'm pulling out. They're too similarly sized to quarters, and the dime should be at least a little bigger than it. Also, the 50 cent Canadian coin isn't on here, it would go in C tier. Coat of arms for the tails design? BORING. Now for bills, I have a very nostalgic connection to Wilfrid Laurier, so that's why the 5 dollar bill is so high. The other bills I don't care much for? 10 and 20 are useful at least, but 100 dollah - that's got some special ring to it for some reason. The worst is the 50 dollar bill though. It feels so uninspiring... and red? It just rubs me the wrong way.

Personal updates (achievements, reflections, and antics)

I'm going to be honest with you all. Monday through Thursday were essentially the same day. Get to work, work on one of my few tasks, stay at my desk for lunch, maybe work on the proposal assignment, go back to my place, and try to get sections of that proposal done. I barely got up to visit others (only to tell people that 'Deltarune' was coming out I guess), and my dinners were just chili over rice. There were some distinguishing moments, but not very many. I'll list them here:

• All of Monday: interspersed in my work was finishing the June 1st bloghan. Honestly, wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!
• Monday morning through to afternoon: trying to get the brand new project all set up but a ton of stuff was missing???? I figured out the solution to that all on my own, no thanks to the full-time I asked for help.
• Monday morning: My floor's admin visited us in the corner to ask how we would be getting to the team event on Tuesday, which was a 45 minute drive away. I trolled her by pretending that I thought it was a 45 minute walk instead. It worked. She then told me to talk to my manager about a ride. Ah, shoot. Just great. I'll... figure something out. The bus should work. If my mamanger and I are as awkward as we are walking the same direction for 30 seconds, the car is going to be so much worse.
• Monday afternoon: I visited my successor in the cell to talk about some task she had, and she asked how I was going to get to the event next Tuesday, which is about an 8-9 hour walk from the workplace. I told her my "plan" to walk that 8-9 hours (I was eventually going to reveal the bus ride plan though...), and she told me we should go together to ask our mutual manager. Apparently, the floor admin had visited my successor and told her to talk to our manager. Well, ok, I think it's reasonable to say "let's just text him then," isn't it? However she kept pestering me to get up and go with her to his office. Well, it eventually worked and we got up, but hte whole way I was trying to convince that it would be way easier (and more expected) to just go talk to him. I kept stopping my pace and eventually we ended up standing by this pillar close to his desk, with some of the more senior full-times passing by us and giving us weird looks. She was giggling because she thought the panic on my face was a bit. I was panicking beacuse the giggling on her face was genuine. I never go to see my manager at his desk when I have a question for him, because from everything I've learned, he prefers it way more if I just send him a direct message online. I think it's fine that my successor goes to his desk every time she needs him for something, but that's just now how my manager and I interact. Just as she decided that she was going to go without me, another employee high up in the pecking order passed by us, headed towards my manager's desk: my manager. AAAAAAAAGH! He greeted us, and my successor beagan talking to him about getting a ride to the event and... What proceeded was a conversation where I can't evne begin to describe the panic and sheer surprise at how my successor talks to my managre. She opened with telling my manager how scared I was to talk to him about this (thanks for that), then actually got into asking him about if he had spots in his car available. At this, I started pretending I was doing work on my laptop while standing there. I think I was just typing random characters into some document or whatever. Before my manager could answer her about the whole ride thing, she almost "pre-planned" what it would look like? Saying stuff like how'd she be in the passenger seat and I'd be in the back because of how scared I would be (thanks again), and that she would require the shirt he was wearing so that they could appear matching from outside the car. She straight up asked this man if he had an extra of that shirt, but since that was a special shirt given to the team years ago as part of a product launch, there weren't any avaiable anywhere. Then she proceeded to say that she was goin gto get a gold chain just like his so they can be "twinning," which made my manager laugh. Wait a minute... has she been talking to my manager this entire time like they're in high school or something??? Thinking on the language she was using durin this encounter, she must've been. What? What? What? Eventually, my manager told us that he would be heading to the event directly, so he wouldn't be able to pick us up. Instead, he'd arrange for someone else in the office to do it. With that, we said goodbye and headed back to the cell. I was shaking at this point. I could not handle the fact that someone could act so... so... so... casually with a manager like that????? That close to the director's desk too! And why did I get dragged into this???? Back at the cell, my successor noted I was shaking, and didn't really understand why I was. After I told her about how my manager and I communicate, she started panicking about her own job. Would she lose it due to not being professional enough. I told her "probably not." Maybe I'm going to be the one not coming back though, because I don't do that. Did they hire her to replace me because she would be so much more outgoing and extroverted in the office compared to me? Eesh...
• Monday evening: 'Deltarune' with Blue-haired and Grey-haired! Starting on chapter 2 this time, so that we can maybe start chapter 3 on Thursday? I backseated Blue-haired a little bit (I asked first before I did at every instance though, so that makes it ok!) so that he wouldn't miss any items or funny interactions. Man... wish I wasn't so busy with this communications course... I'd love to play myself.
• Also Monday evening: my landlord visited me and asked if I would accompany her out for 15-ish minutes that night. She had agreed to sell some kitchen stuff to some newcomer to the community, but that they had to meet at some random parking lot late at night due to this customer not having any experience with the transit system here and also working all day? I got dressesd and went with her in her car, telling BLue-haired and Grey-haired not to wait for me at any point in 'Deltarune' (they waited for me, so any playtime of chapter 2 on Thursday is their fault!!). This time, the conversation in my landlord's car was a lot more quiet and awkward because I wasn't saying much. Nothing really to tlak about. After the short drive and me thinking that we got lost, that guy came up to us in the parking lot of a church. My landlord gave him a giant bag of pots and pans and such that looked like it could hold 6-7 pillows, and he just walked away right after, just along the highway. Huh. We rode back in silence, and I continued the call with Blue-haired and Grey-haired afterwards.
• Tuesday and Wednesday morning: A whole lot of trying to get some tests to pass in the new project I'm setting up, and getting stopped by finding one single file referencing the old project. After fixing one, I would re-run the whole thing again, only to get stopped by yet another file that references the old project. I brought it up in the group chat with my manager and the not-manager, and the not-manager kept saying things like "it shouldn't be like that" or "that's not correct." Yes, I know. That's why I'm telling you that these files are "like that," are "incorrect." Gah. I ended up fixing those ones myself, and gettign my successor to do so for some other troublesome files that were in a list I hadn't yet had time to go through.
• Tuesday afternoon: My mentor visited me and asked how flexible one of my Absconder works was (very very flexible, just one tiny inflexible part). Once I told him that, he told me he'd let my manager know the good news and let me know if I'd have to make that inflexible thing flexible. Well, if I do have to do that, it'll be very easy, so sure!
• Also Tuesday afternoon: My work rival's manager asked me to run some comparison tool on my version of one project's files and my go-to's slightly updated version. I said yes, but when I got started on it I realized... you can't actually use this tool between two different people's copy of the files??? when you make a filelist on anyone's fileset, it lists them without any identifying information about where the list was made. What?? I messaged her about this and she left me on seen. I ask my work rival and he's just as confused. I ask my predecessor - same thing. Well then. Guess I'm not doing this then!
• Wednesday, before I left for work: A hornet had somehow gotten into my apartment, crawling around just in front of my door. I considered crushing it with the recycling bin, but decided that the nuclear option of the vacuum cleaner was safer. Also, the vacuum had a long range attachment for its hose, so less chance of triggering flight! Though, it didn't seem to be flying at all. How strange...
• Wednesday morning: My mentor messaged me, saying I'd have to make flexible that one tiny little inflexible thing in my Absconder work we were talking about. But... I'm pretty busy with getting all this new project setup and old project comparison stuff. Maybe I could get my successor to do it?
• Wednesday, just before noon: my manager asked how I was doing with that comparison tool task I was given, and I told him I was still waiting for my work rival's manager to tell me how to do it. To which he said, "can't you just change one of the filelists by hand to specifically reference one of the users?" Oh. Wait. Yeah, that would work. There's only one thing on my mind now, regarding this task. WHY DIDN'T MY WORK RIVAL'S MANAGER TELL ME THAT????????
• Wednesday, also just before noon: The new compatriot grabbed a freezie from the break room that I left there last Friday, immediately intriguing my work rival. As soon as he heard that there were more, my work rival got up immediately and did not return for a half hour.
• Wednesday afternoon: my successor visited me at my desk, as she was concerned that my manager had not yet given us details of the carpool plan for next Tuesday's event. I'm pretty sure he's just going to let us know the day before, so I'm not worried, but my successor does not share this sentiment. She pesters me until I get up out of my chair, then with a "love you" (??????) she leads me to our manager's desk. She's constantly teasing me on the way about what happened on Monday (...don't remind me...), as I keep trying to convince her that our manager will figure it out, and that she doesn't need to worry. She's still worried, but apparently not worried enough to do this herself? As we get closer, she starts saying how I'm going to be the one who approaches him about this whole thing since I did not do that on Monday. Oh great, of course. Eventually we get back to the pillar, and I slow down significantly. But this time, there's no manager passing by to save me, and I make it to his desk. I gently peer around the corner and... he's in a call right now. Oh shoot, I gotta go. I slightly tell my successor off at this point about how we really should be talking to our manager over direct message, and that overall we should have more faith in him. Only a little bit after I eventually get back to my desk, I see an email from him letting me and my successor know that it will be my work rival's manager driving us back. Oh. He definitely heard us, didn't he? Why does this sort of thing always happen to me..?
• Wednesday, end of workday: I walk home with my work rival, and it's nice to talk to him about course stuff and my future 'Jeopardy' plans. Also, a nice little reminiscing about some of the guys coming back to the company soon! Not as engaging as our last little walk home from work, no, but it was very nice. We also saw thsi really weird jeep and limo crossbreed (who would want that???), and he yapped to me about his home and car insurance conspiracy theory (the only conspiracy theory of his that I actually thought was worth listening to).
• Wednesday evening: More of 'Deltarune,' just finishing up chapter 2 with Blue-haired (Grey-haired couldn't make it). It went on for a long while, and I ended up making dinner near the end. About 2 minutes after my microwave finished reheating my chili, the power went out. I never realized how dark it was at night, since I hadn't gone out at night in months. I called Blue-haired to continue the conversation, and the power came back on 5 minutes later. Not even another 10 minutes passed before it went out again, and on the second phone call of the night to Blue-haired, we decided to not finish chapter 2 tonight.
• Thursday morning: I decide to work from home because I am very sleepy!!
• Thursday, just before noon: I can't get either the new project tests or the comparison between me and my go-to's files working at all. Each is complaining about stuff that I have no idea how to fix. I'm sure someone would know what to do about the first one, but not so much the second one...
• Thursday afternoon: My successor calls me to give me an update on the things I've asked her to do (at the moment, just the list of files which might still refer to the old project), but tells me she's been given a lot of other stuff and needs help forwarding an email in a reply. Not too bad to figure out, and she thinks I'm amazing for it? It's just... email stuff.
• Thursday evening: Working on the proposal very quickly, since it's due tonight. The hardest part of the proposal is the writing out of the actual plan I'm proposing itself. It's not helped by the regular Thursday call with Blue-haired and Grey-haired either. We finish chapter 2 of 'Deltarune,' then get to chapter 3. And let me just say: I am not that much of a fan of chapter 3? It's just so jarringly different than the other chapters we've had so far, as it just feels like the majority of the chapter's gameplay is having our characters be sat down and play 'Link's Awakening.' I am appreciating some of the lore stuff we're getting though, and I guess we did get a warning that this chpater would be radically different, and that chapter 4 would be a return to form. Well, we'll see how it goes. I managed to complete my proposal, but it probably wasn't my best work. Ah well.

That was Monday to Thursday. Again, all those events? They were just mere moments in the overarching monotony of "get to work," "work," "eat lunch at desk," "get home," "work on proposal," "go to bed very very late."

Friday was a pretty simple day. I got to work, but there wasn't very many people in the office. I worked a little bit at first (I showed up late because I missed my first bus...), and made vrey little progress on anything. Nothing was working! Just after noon, I joined the group for lunch in the first time in a very long time (1 week), and we played an embarrassing game of Hearts (embarrassing for me, that is), then a massive game of 'President' with three decks (the sheer amount of cards and the way the endgame plays over here... yeah, now I remember the real reason why I don't play 'President'), before finally heading back. There were some visits to the cell, the crossword cubicle, but honestly? There wasn't much to do except look at my screen and groan about how nothing was working. It wasn't only until the very end of the day when my manager messaged me the solution to the tests on the new project not working, and I figured out my own solution unintentionally for the comparison tool (I thought I had to change the pattern of a bunch of lines in the file list, one for each error, but I wanted to just change one to see if it was that thing causing that one error... but then it just went ahead and fixed all 900 of them??). But by then? Well by then, it was time to go home. Once there, I began working on the final assignment of this course: the final report. It's a bit of a doozy. Now, I'm not so sure if it was worth it to choose to not get in a random team. But, I think I can maybe pull it off? I have more than 4 days to work on it, if I'm smart about this. I work on it late into the night, and resolve to make this entire weekend dedicated to working on it. On Saturday, I wake up at noon. Great start. I try working on it a little bit, but I quickly begin to feel drowsy and I quickly get distracted. This will not do. But maybe it has to do with my environment? This apartment? It might be time to do a little bit of cleaning. So after finishing as much of the letter of transmittal as I could, I washed my towels and my sheets. I had an ice cream sandwich, then tried to drink water afterwards: this caused me to choke and spit water all over the floor, so I had an excuse to lightly mop the floor too. Then I realized "oh snap! I'm super behind on bloghan!" And once my sheets were all in the wash, I started working on that. Flash forward to night time (when did it get this late?), and Blue-haired and Grey-haired wanted to play more 'Deltarune.' Well, who am I to turn down some 'Deltarune,' especially when I'm not the one playing? I can do bloghan at the same time, right? The chapter still feels really strange to me, but the tail end of our play session actually got a little bit back to the regular format of chapters that I had started to miss. We spent a good 3 hours playing (and I spent a good 10 minutes of that doing work, because of course I did!), but as soon as we were done, I managed to catch up bloghan fully within an hour! Well, I guess that wasn't really hard. I didn't really do all that much this week... Unfortunately, Sunday was a lot like Saturday, except my distractions weren't nearly as useful. Yeah, there was sweeping and cleaning the sink, and picking up another round of groceries, but my final report? I barely worked on it, and didn't make much progress until late at night. I really hope that's not a pattenr that continues, but... It just might. It just might.

Future plans

What even were my plans last week? Here's the results of those plans, because we're going to find out together:

• 'Deltarune' with Blue-haired and Grey-haired: Yeah, I don't know why we thought we could finish chapter 2 on a Monday evening. We didn't finish until Thursday, but hey! We finished, at least.
• Door: no progress
• Finish the June 1st bloghan: did it on Monday.
• 'One Piece' Wano arc: would've finished it if the website I get my scans from wouldn't keep labelling chapters wrongly!!! I'm going to move sources soon, I swear.
• Proposal assignment: all done! I think it's pretty good, but not great. Can't do it all, I guess. But I can be better for next time. The last time.

This week, the priorty is that final report. I'm going to try and do a major section each day. Blue-haired and Grey-haired will probably want to play more of 'Deltarune' chapter 3 and we might even start chapter 4 too! Also, can't forget Nozomi Tojo's birthday tomorrow! Outside of that, I don't think I have any other plans?

Song of the week

'Moshimo Kara Kito' (https://youtu.be/ZyHn2VMITfM) by Nozomi Tojo from 'Love Live! School idol project' is the song of the week. Her birthday is tomorrow, but I'm more interested in the contents of her song. It's about how grateful the speaker in the song is that she had the opportunity to foster the dreams of those around her, and how it happened to foster her own dreams too. Even if they were all to drift apart, it's much better than having never met at all. I won't pretend that I did such a thing so intentionally, just as Nozomi did, but I like to think that I did such a thing for some of you reading this right now. Of course, I know that all of you will eventually drift away from me, and not just the ones still reading bloghan. Everyone I know will, just by the nature of who I am. But I never want to let go of the feelings I felt knowing all of you, when I encouraged you and you encouraged me, when you listened to my dreams and I yours. I will remember you, I'm sure, so I'm perfectly alright with you not doing so. Is it selfish of me to ask that much? Maybe. Maybe.

Until next time

If this past week was as terrible as it was, this week has the potential to be just as bad. But, I have the power to change that. Or, more accurately, I have the fear to motivate me into changing that. Hoo boy... See you next week...

- bubbler

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