July 6, 2025 - bloghan 54

This week was... Ok, I don't like using the word 'weird,' but it got pretty close to that, so I'll just use 'strange.' This week was strange. And not really because of something that happened during the week, but mostly because of something that happened on Saturday. Something quite... capricious. And to be honest, a lot of it (not just the Saturdya but the entire week) felt like a cycle that just keeps on going. Like a raft ride that never ends. But before I'll explain what happened on Saturday, here's everything else too:

Tier list of the week

This week's tier list: conventions for Tumblr culture. Here's the tier list:

Ordered tiers, ordered wthin tiers. I'' say that I have limited experience when it comes to actually going to either of these events, but I can confidently say that the second was just straight up way better than the first for the simple fact that it was organized. However, the hellsite and all its users are still a whole new strain of strange that I myself don't think I really fit into, and I don't think I really want to either. I hear they will make 'Dashcon 2: the Third One' or something like that; if they do, all it will amount to is a raft ride that never ends.

Personal updates (achievements, reflections, and antics)

Honestly, what happened on Saturday was so wacky, crazy, strange, and fun that it really overshadows the entire week. So I hope you'll understand that this week (handily) felt like a whole list of bullet points followed by a hazy half-fictional memoir; so that's exactly how I'm going to represent it! For the stuff outside the list, it's literally just me commuting, doing work of some kind (at home, almost always bloghan), or chores like cooking and cleaning.

Monday morning: working on comparison tool stuff with my predecessor and newest project stuff with my successor, trying to get things working before people come asking questions. I also got some help from my work rival when it came to generating file lists (and helping me review even more of my comparison tool documentation).
Monday, close to lunch: that one manager who's always antagonizing me asks if I'm taking any days off this week. I tell him I'm only going to be off on July 1, tomorrow, and he responds with "that is official day off." No further message. OK??? What do you want me to say about this??? I ask the gregarious, my predecessor, my work rival, even the newest guy (a returning temp, who I will call the idealist, one of the ones from my home city that my work rival is very attached to), and none of them could give me an answer that I liked. I ended up just giving a thumbs up reaction.
Monday, right before going to lunch: got my newly finished comparison tool documentation reviewed by my predecessor and helped my successor debug some failing tests she was running in the newest project (only failing because she had forgotten my previous instructions).
Monday, lunch: my predecessor, the idealist, and my work rival all go to this shawarma place for a group lunch. Just as a little reunion sort of deal, so it's just us. On the way there we're mostly talking about recent events (and the work rival gossips about the new temps), and on the way back it's basically the same thing. At the restaurant, my work rival bemoans the fact that I get a regular shawarma bowl instead of the one that fuses it with poutine (unlike you, I'm not afraid of vegetables; in fact, I like them quite a lot... well, most of them), and talk about home city stuff with the idealist and my predecessor. Once we get back to the office, we all eat together in the second floor break room. It tastes really good! I'll just eat the lunch I actually brought later. One of the managers (not of our team, but more for the different programs around the office) walks up to us and asks us if we've heard of food delivery company deals with business. Since people are going to have to come into the office for 5 days per week very soon, he wants to know if it's worth it for our location to strike a deal with one of those food delivery companies, giving everyone free delivery fees for any delivery to the office. I tell him a little bit of what I know from my restaurant work experience, but it's not really all that relevant. But all of us agree that while it would be a good thing for people coming into the office 5 days a week, it might not be nearly as good of an incentive as he thinks it is, but it's still way more than we have already. I don't think I'll be able to benefit from this, but... good luck, everyone I'll be leaving behind me!
Monday, after lunch and way in the afternoon: there's a big team meeting where we present all the big changes in the newest project to a lot of other teams in the company. I forget about it until it's happening, and by the time I reach the door it's already closed. I bump into the director of the director, and head back to my desk to join online. It's a long, boring meeting at which I don't get many details, but it's very strange that the camera in the room has been turned off. Also, that guy who asks 30 minute questions attended this one too, and asked more 30 minute questions, and got banned from questions once again.
Monday, after that meeting: I try to do a tarot reading for the compatriot, but that gets interrupted by my successor and my predecessor returning from that meeting. They tell me about the energy in that room I couldn't enter (apparently, I could've just opened the closed door and walked in), that being one of great frustration with 30-minute question guy, and a whole lot of muted laughter... that explains the camera being off. I keep trying to give the reading to the compatriot, but my successor keeps interrupting me. Constantly. I then try to explain to her some other task, and try to get her to give me some info about what she's working on because of her upcoming vacation (if someone needs it done right away, it'll fall to me for sure), and she keeps getting distracted in other conversation in the middle of me talking to her. Constantly. Eventually I get all that info, but man.
Monday, after my successor and my predecessor leave: the not-manager walks in on me giving a reading to the new compatriot, and asks where the idealist is. Well, he doesn't sit in the corner anymore because he's no longer a temp, so I lead the not-manager to the idealist's desk. As I explain this to the not-manager, he gives a very disappointed "oh..." Uh.... ok?
Monday, as I'm walking home: it begins to rain, and I come up with an 'Undertale' OST related joke that I decide to text to Blue-haired. As I'm texting it, I begin to laugh at how funny my joke is, scaring a mother and her child of approximately 5 years of age as they cross the road. It began to rain harder after that, but I guess to you all reading this, it's raining somewhere else.
Tuesday morning: I sleep.
Tuesday, near noon: I wake up, and make eggs and bacon and start doing a bunch of laundry and cleaning right after.
Tuesdaym after lunch: After a bout of writing bloghan and getting a little bored of it, I decide to open up my Steam library, and start playing 'Yohane the Parhelion: Blaze in the Deepblue' once again. I actually left my save off pretty close to the final boss, but I realized this day that I didn't actually have any endgame items at all, whatsoever. Well, I spent a good couple of hours playing, grinding, researching, and taking notes on what those items are and how to get them the most efficiently.
Tuesday, afternoon: I decide to go for a little stroll, mostly motivated by a desire for ice cream or an ice cream sandwich, and also because I want to take advantage of the sunshine before it's gone for the day. I get ready very quickly and walk out the door, in the direction of the convenience store I know is nearby. I actually tried calling them earlier to make sure they were open, but got no response. Worst case scenario, I end up finding it closed and walk back empty handed, but still left with the experience of a nice walk. It was a sunny day, but I definitely should not have worn my bucket hat because it was actually quite windy too. It was annoying to have my headphones on over top of it trying to stop it from flying away. But then the flaps of the bucket hat would get caught between my ears and my headphone and ah! It was a whole mess and it made me look silly, but you know what? I don't really care that much. I'm living my own life out here. When I got to the convenience store, I was delighted to see it was open, but what a strange store! It was barely stocked with the regular goods you'd expect, like random non-perishable foodstuffs, energy drinks and sodas, random groceries, but it also had a weird collection of office supplies and beauty products. Felt like a drug store and an office supply store in the middle shelves, where I would expect shelves of chips and snacks and stuff. Don't get me wrong, those shelves of chips and snacks were there, but usually you see all the racks and shelves filled with foodstuffs... well, whatever. I'm only hear for the ice crema coolers in the back, where there's currently an old couple buying and filling out lottery tickets. I spent an agonizing time deciding which ice cream sandwich to get: the Oreo ice cream one? The massive square one? The really long prism? Or the standard size that I'm used to? Well obviously I'm going to choose the one I already know the most! I go up to the counter and buy it with leftover coins, eating it as I walk back to my apartment. Will I have work to do once I get back? Yes. But right now, all of that is far away. Right now, I'm just enjoying the sun and this rather melty ice cream sandwich, and the freedom I now have in my life.
Tuesday, evening: I play games instead of writing bloghan.
Wednesday morning: I get a notification that next Monday I will be having a meeting with a full-time and my successor to hand over taskfrom me to her that I won't finish. I decide in that moment that I'm going to focus as hard as I can and get as much done this week, so that I don't end up overwhelming my successor with stuff when I leave.
Wednesday, also in the morning: the idea of re-importing things between the last project and the newest one is brought up again... but this time, there's months of changes to grab. Oh man...
Wednesday, around lunch and after lunch too: did some stuff for my predecessor and other full-times, sharing information for those who were on vacation, getting help with one flow that completely broke in the new project, and getting help with another flow that I thought was completely broken but actually only needed a tiny adjustment
Wednesday, after lunch: my predecessor shares with me a new tool that the organization has laucnhed, which gets an AI to look through all the docs anyone has put anywhere from the company, and lets you pose questions to the AI to get that information. I try it out to see if it can find my recent discovery of that new config option in the comparison tool, and while it does find that information, the rest of the information is sort of half right and half wrong. Very interesting... very concerning too.
Wednesday, after lunch: that antagonizing manager (he's not even my direct manager??? why is it always me...) grills me about my Absconder work that compared things to make sure we did it correct. None of the information is new to him, as I remember texting these exact words to him many times before.
Wednesday, 2 hours before D&D starts: I fill out one entire page of my notebook with the phrase "the raft ride never ends," covering every single line of the page. There is no room to add more lines. This was worth it.
Wednesday, just after that: I head to the crossword cubicle where Steve is sitting today (does he just hate the corner now?), and he starts yapping to me about Hercules beetle wrestling becuase apparently its very big where he's from? We freak out the gregarious a lot with this conversation.
Wednesday, just before D&D starts: my work rival enlists my help in helping him figure out what's going wrong when he's trying to run the functionality tests on some changes he made to a project. It's nice having someone rely on you when you're actually able to diagnose the problem right away!
Wednesday, also right before D&D starts: I go visit my equivalent's replacement, who is in this out of the way cubicle that's got a giant pillar in the middle of it. I apologize to her about how I had no idea where she sat and thus did not invite her to the last Jeopardy, and promised to do so for the next one. Then, I saw that she's got Absconder stuff on her screen, so I give her a bunch of information on it and places to get more info, because apparently my equivalent never gave that to her???
Wednesday, D&D time: it's the final boss! THey actually struggle a lot with his attacks that bypass their armour, and also with dealing with the extra enemies thrown in there, but somehow they manage to take care of him in one session, before I got to use his cool longlongsword attack. But that's ok, because their actions accelerated the next phase of the boss fight! They had some tense moments where they were very close to dying, but by exhausting essentially every ability they managed to do it! It is mostly sad with my Japanese coworker though, as he used his Action Surge to deliver 4 attacks in one turn, but three of them missed. The last one didn't do enough damage to take out the boss, but when he used the abilities of his character's Fire Rune, it just barely pushed the boss over the edge. My co-DM really loved this session too, and we used the whiteboard very well in this session as well, using magnetic Go pieces to keep track of positioning. We thought it was a good challenge, but the players seemed to think the boss went down way too easily. Well, I guess if you burn all your resources like that, it would be... so I guess we don't need to crank up the difficulty too much next week, hmm?
Thursday morning: I finished a whole batch of documentation! Everything on the comparison tool that I know of is done, and all the feedback I got is now implemented. Next up, it's time to do further setup on the newest project...
Thursday morning through to the afternoon: I actually focus and get a whole host of stuff done? Now that one of those testing flows is fixed from yesterday's work, I can start getting the individual tests to work. There was also a crutch from teh last project that this project was relying on, until the replacement for this project came out, which it did on Tuesday! So I can start swapping out the crutch for the real thing.
Thursday, right after I finish that: well, it turns out that I can't actually test the crutch replacement out until I get the tools working... so I spend a good amount of time changing stuff to get that all working.
Thursday, time of the regular meeting for a slightly older project: I'm not really relevant to this project anymore, but that's alright! When I go in with my predecessor, I head to my seat in the very corner once again and decide to turn the whiteboard so that I am completely blocked from vision. Anyone else coming into this room can only see my feet, peeking between the wheels. I'm doing this for a bit of fun, a bit of cheekiness. There's no one in here yet. Soon, that manager that's not really a manager but manages how our team does things comes in, and my predecessor jokes about my little privacy screen. I remark that I'm keeping my camera off for this meeting. After 30 seocnds or so, I decide that enough is enough, and I should turn the whiteboard back before my manager and the directors show up. So I announce that I'm turning my camera back on, and once I turn the board so it doesn't block me, there I see the director and the director's director, already sitting there. Shoot... well, I'm sure they thought it was funny. And at least I didn't have to be asked to undo it! But uh... not a great look, I guess... And yeah, they talked a little bit about my repeated runs of the comparison tool and that they've made a choice on it, so... guess I'm done with that project? I ended up doing another New Yorker cryptic during the meeting.
Thursday, right after that meeting: I went to talk to the new hire, a new full-time that joined this Monday. I needed to talk to him about one of the things he was tasked with running, because it still had some references to the old project. He had a way deeper voice than I expected, and he's going to receive the nickname "the newest new guy."
Thursday, right before I left work: I filed out another page of my notebook top to bottom with "the raft ride never ends" because the raft ride never ends.
Thursday evening: another call with Blue-haired and Grey-haired... except Blue-haired wasn't there! So it was just me and Grey-haired, watching one episode of 'One Piece' (don't worry, it's the recut version, 'One Pace') and one episode of 'Kamen Rider OOO.' Pretty fun, pretty fun, and this time, Grey-haired had very little tech trouble! The most troublesome thing was that the YouTube player we were using for the latter show kept giving me cat food ads? So we're back to this joke, huh, Internet?
Friday morning: I wake up very late, because it's a work from home day!!! Yahoo!!
Friday morning, 30 minutes into the workday: the newest new guy tried to submit some changes for something in the newest project, but he ran into some errors. I tell him to skip the tests, because it relates to something that one old guy on our team is always on our case about. Except... hold on... our team hasn't started working en masse in the newest project, so who was the one who changed the spreadsheet stuff that the old guy touches? Oh, it was the old guy himself? Well, that means he'll fix it, so it's ok to skip the chekcs. I even go in and disable the skip disabler, just for the newest new guy. He does not follow what I say at all. Well, alright then.
Friday, after my perogie lunch (why were they slimy?): I hand checking the tests for my own changes that I worked hard on yesterday, so I decide to treat myself to a little bit of "at work 'Balatro'" because I am very tired and I feel like I've done enough work this week to justify being a bad boy just this once.
Friday, after I realize I've been playing too long: I get back to work and try to submit my changes, now that all those functionality tests have passed. But when I try to submit... huh? I'm blocked from submitting? And the one who put the block in place was the not-manager? Well, I message him to ask what's going on, and he tells me that the old guy on our team broke something really badly, to the point where it looks like that the functionality tests say they are passing when in reality they are not internally. Or something like that. He tells me to wait until Monday. Well, ok then...
Friday, late at night (two hours after midnight?): I go to bed early, after doing a whole lot of outfit and bag packing prep; I've got a convention to go to tomorrow!

Finally, Saturday. I had gotten up brigth and early, with my outfit already planned. I made myself a quick oatmeal breakfast and headed to my first bus. It was surprisingly already sunny and hot, but I had planned ahead by bringing a lot of water. The convention was taking place at this culture center between my place and downtown, so I was taking the first bus I usually take to work, but unusually, I was riding it farther than I ever have before. My main focus was on writing bloghans from two weeks ago, but when we got to a an area I hadn't been in before I couldn't help but look out the window. It wasn't too much of walk to get to my connection bus, but when I got to that stop, there was already a bus there, unmoving. I wasn't sure if that was the bus I needed to take, so I waited outside of it for ten or so minutes in the sun. There was another guy waiting too, so I thought that's what we were doing. At first I thought he was the driver, but as time passed and he didn't shoot me into the bus, I figured he wasn't the driver. Just as the bus was scheduled to leave (as the app I was using was telling me), that other guy got in and hopped into the driver's seat. Oh. Huh. This bus drove just as fast as the one I took before it, but it didn't have nearly as many stops as that one, breezing through quite a long distance. I've basically stayed put for most of my time over here, but this ride once again showed me the sheer scale of the city I had moved to for a year. I wasn't even going all the way downtown! I really am blessed... I got off this express bus half an hour after getting on it, and started walking to the culture center. It had gotten even sunnier and hotter, but that didn't stop me from keeping my sweater fully zipped. When I eventually reached the center, I immediately knew I was in the right place when I saw someone wearing a half-pink and half-black pleated skirt that went down to her mid-thigh, with half-pink and half-black hair to match. And a tail. She had a tail too. The skirt was more striking, but there was a tail too. Do all girls have tails? I guessed incorrectly on my first try of finding the front door, but once I actually found the correct door... well, I was expecting a disaster and got... a well-organized mess? The crowd was huge and dressed extremely abnormally, and the music was very loud, but they were all in lines and not running around shrieking like kids as I was expecting. At the volunteer check-in table, I am given a paper wristband that controls access to the convention and my volunteer shirt, and then told that my station is upstairs. As I head to those stairs I spot the raffle table with a very long line, and I'm once again taken aback by how organized and controlled it is. I pass by a food caterer and a health desk with a bunch of paramedics at it for some reason, and head up the stairs, suddenly feeling very out of place wearing my blue jeans and flannel shirt among the many 'Homestuck' trolls, anime and cartoon cosplayers, those wearing (frankly) very little clothing in general, and people wearing full on gowns and tuxes. When I headed upstairs I saw some people in convention volunteer t-shirts at a desk in the middle of the hall, but my shift wouldn't start for another hour or so. We weren't allowed to have our volunteer shirts on unless it was our shift, but I knew there was supposed to be a volunteers-only room for us to get ready and sit in. I was having a hard time navigating though, so I had to talk to one of the security officers (of the venue, not the con) where it was. He was just as confused as me, but at least I had a room number that he could point me to. He asked me right after leading me there if that was the only volunteer-only room of the con, and I told him yes, because that's what info I was left with. But... didn't convention staff inform the venue of their plans for volunteers??? Well, I walked in there and was very shocked because this room was packed with stuff. There was a rounded rectangular table that took up much of the room and there was just stuff laid about all over that table everywhere. Water bottles, a laptop, arts and crafts supplies, random boxes, so many bags and even more random clothes and accessories. There were even more bags and backpacks lining the walls of this place, and it wasn't helped by the random artifact in a glass case that took up a significant chunk of one corner of the room. And I'm not even mentioning the stifling presence of the volunteers in this room. I spent a good couple years in high school involved in stage productions, and while I wouldn't consider myself a true thespian, I feel like I was often the straight man or comedic foil when conversing with the actual theatre kids. But this? This room of volunteers? It felt like I was surrounded by thespians cranked up to 11. How are these people real? Is this how they interact with the people in their lives constantly? Am I just cold? Impersonal? Too professional? The amount of socialization and sharing of extremely personal information, in conjunction with the amount of isolation I felt, honestly gave me a bit of a culture shock. Is this what it's like to be an extra extrovert, on the scale of a Tumblr user? I was sitting there awkwardly as everyone was sharing some of the deepest experiences I've ever heard someone say in public, as I was there sipping my water, biding my time. I sat there for a good while, and looked around for a bit to see if anyone on my team (panel moderators) was in the room. Wait. I don't know what any of them look like. Welp. There was one person that wasn't wearing a volunteer shirt in here, someone in a crimson suit and clown makeup, with a wearable Kermit head by her hand. I knew right away that this was going to be one of the panels that I would be moderating, because even though I didn't know the name of this girl (who couldn't have been more than 18 or 19), I knew without a doubt that this HAS to be the person known as 'Muppet Joker' on my lists of panels. My suspicions were confirmed when another volunteer mentioning how excited she was to meet Muppet Joker: the entire room went silent, and everyone stopped what they were doing. Every other volunteer looked towards Muppet Joker and Muppet Joker looked right at the volunteer. The excited volunteer was a little lost at first at why the room had froze, and eventually followed everyone's eyes so that she could meet Muppet Joker's. Muppet Joker said "hi," and the room lost themselves to laughter. I still had more than an hour to my shift, so I spent time on my phone to avoid more conversation with these people who scare me, but I overheard someone during a conversation talk about what role they had: a panel moderator, with their first panel being the 'Homestuck' one. Wait... that's the one I switched with for the 'Conclave' one! I asked around yesterday in the panel moderator chatroom to see if someone would switch moderating that panel with me. I still haven't read past Act 3 of 'Homestuck,' and I was told that moderating that panel would spoil me greatly. I mean, it kinda has to, since the trolls are apparently not really introduced until Act 4 (they show up in text conversations before that and during the Act 3 intermission, but that feels more like a cameo in all honesty). I did manage to switch with someone (now I moderate the 'Conclave' panel, and she moderates the 'Homestuck' one), and I guess this girl chatting and standing next to me must be her? After she finishes her conversation, I start talking to herand confirm that yes! She is taking over the panel that would spoil me. Thank you so much!! I know she'll never read this because I'm not sharing bloghan with anyone going to this con under any circumstances, but that doesn't make my gratitude non-zero. We talked some more about the panels we would be moderating, then the content of them (she really wants to watch 'Conclave' so this works out for her! but also, what is that movie even about???), and then her criticisms of the 'Homestuck' pacing past Act 4 (uh oh), which somehow led to us finally introducing our names to each other. That led into further conversation about how she really disliked the "painfully normal" name her parents gave her, and complementing me on my own name and asking where it's from. Now my dad says it's from Hebrew, but I've looked and I cannot find such an origin for it anywhere. I've decided to re-adopt it as a 'Mortal Kombat' reference though, since people at conventions seem to commonly think I'm joking around when I give them my real name due to the existence of Sub-Zero. Funnily, she brings it up too. During this next little lull in our conversation, I suggest that we go interact with out shift supervisor so that we can make sure everyone's on the same page with regards to our shift swap. We leave the volunteer room and talk to the figures at that second floor table. The middle-aged lady cosplaying as Venti from 'Genshin Impact' (because of course!) was our supervisor, and as we check-in with her we confirm our switching plans, and also see that the schedule for panels is slightly different on the website than on the paper copies given out to volunteers. Well, it's my supervisor's problem, not mine, since I'm morning shift and this inconsistency is in the evening! After that conversation, I still have 45 minutes until my panel starts, so I'm free to explore around the convention center. I head back down to the first floor and look around. One ball pit as been set up, but I am NOT going in those unsanitary things. There's still an even larger inflatable... something being set up, and to be honest, there doesn't actually seem to be very much happening, except for the vendor area. I start exploring that, and immediately get flagged down by a guy building a virtual tabletop for TTRPGs. Not even selling anything, his program is entirely free, just here for the love of the advertising. Nice guy. Won't be using his services. As I explored more, I just became more and more lost in the talent and just how expensive a lot of it was. Virtually every stall had some sort of art depicting characters from 'Deltarune,' mostly chapter 3, which surprised me quite a lot but... I guess it had been a month. There were a great deal of other things too, lots of stuff related to other niche Internet interests and blorbos, but I began to notice that the majority of it was prints and stickers. I mean, that's fine, but I would prefer more keychains and pins- ah, but beggars can't be choosers, right? It's probably way more expensive to produce keychains and pins, so you know what? It's alright! I thought this would be a good place to get something for the gregarious or my Japanese coworker, but no such luck unfortunately... Nothing there I thought would interest them. However, I did get a little something-something for Blue-haired and Grey-haired... hee hee hee! They're going to hate it, then they'll warm up to it, and proceed to like it afterwards. Heh heh. When I bought the two gifts from the same person, she also gave me this ribbon thing for free, as a little thank you gift? Uhh, sure I guess. At this point, I had ten minutes until my shift began, so I decided to cut my little shopping trip short and head back up.

Back in the volunteer room, it did not surprise me all that much to see it more packed with stuff and with more bodies. And then, I smelled it. It smelled like a computer science lecture. You know, I really thought that these people having the energy of thespians and Tumblr users would mean they would be more hygenic and all, but... yeah I had to put on my volunteer shirt with my breath held. I checked-in once again with my supervisor, and got a rundown of the Clipboard: count the number of people in the room at the start, middle, and end of a panel, and make notes of things that were out of the ordinary for future convention planning purposes. Sounds simple enough. I even got a chair to sit on while outside the panel room! Now I can laze about as I wait for people. The previous panel starts letting out, and now begins the long wait. I have to turn away a few people over the next 30 minutes because the 'Conclave' panel started later than a lot of the other panels, but eventually someone dressed as Hatusune Miku wearing a cardinal's outfit (like from Catholicism) shows up. This is the panelist for this panel, and apparently she's famous in the 'Conclave' fandom? She was apparently lead writier on a 'Conclave' zine that sold a million (what the units of that number are, I do not know), and also lead writer on the fanmade visual novel? I didn't think that a single movie could have a fandom where there's enough people to have a distinguished "famous" person in them. She had an assistant with her and I went and grabbed the tech guy for the room, and just kinda watched as the three of them got all setup and chatty, while I looked on awkwardly. Cardinal Miku gave me a bracelet that said she absolved my sins (she evn did the hand signs! the hand signs!), and I gave them the explanation of when I would give them time warnings (when they had 15 minutes, 10 minutes, and 5 minutes left). After this, I headed back out to watch the door, letting them set up. Now there were lines made with tape that outlined where people should line up before being let into the panel room, but the first few people showing up for the 'Conclave' panel just ignored it and went in, with my words of denial dying on my tongue as soon as they passed through the entrance. Well, the panelist didn't complain to me, and when I popped my head into the door it all looked fine, so I decided that just for this panel, I would let people in early. I didn't expect to fill the room, and I didn't! But it got pretty close to full and I still don't know how to feel about Catholicism having a fandom. When the panel started, I went inside to monitor. Cardinla Miku gave a very funny retelling of the movie with additional context of the original book, the Holy See, or queerdom, then moving on to a very extensive review of what the fandom has created: a hatred for the original author, that zine and visual novel I mentioned before, and memes. The DNA of the soul. So many memes. What is wrong with these people? It was at this point in the panel that people started leaving, and the number of attendees at the middle and end of the panel kept shrinking as it went on. I didn't know how to make these people leaving non-disruptive to the panel, so I tried to open the door for them so that I could could control how loud the door was upon closing... but I don't know how well that worked. There were a lot of people leaving, and sometimes I messed up closing the door silently. There was even a case where someone's bag strap got wrapped around the door handle, and that distracted people quite a lot too. The panel room next to ours was some sort of board game space too, and it started getting really loud duing one part of the panel. The wall between these two rooms was actually an adjustable divider, so I stood in front of one small gap in the wall to try and block some of the sound. The final tragedy of this panel was when I moved to let someone leave and ended up dropping my phone on the ground, making a very large "CLAP" sound as it did. Cardinal Miku's tempo wasn't really stopped, but it did draw the attention of the entire rest of the room... I'm sorry, Cardinal Miku, for I have sinned. She starts wrapping up really quickly after I give her the time warnings, and the panel ends a little early: perfect! I can go get prepped for Muppet Joker's panel next. I head out and look for the person who swapped with me, since she's supposed to take over my room for me, but the supervisor tells me she abandoned? Uhhh... ok. I head into my originally assigned panel room to see Muppet Joker already accompanied by her assistants, setting up mics and a PowerPoint, proceeding to explain how I will give the time warnings. I also met with two volunteers, one helping with tech and one helping with livestreaming this panel. As I headed back out, I'm met with my supervisor, who tells me and the tech volunteer that this panel and the one in the room next door are going to be the most packed, since it's got the most famous people in them. Hoo boy... The capacity of the room is just above 60, but my supervisor tells me that we can overload that a little bit, and instructs me to stand at the front of the room and yell as she lets people in. I'm supposed to yell to the crowd that they can't put their bags on seats, and if there's an empty seat next to them that they should raise their hand. I haven't needed to project my voice like that since... I guess high school, when I was doing theatre stuff. Huh. Life imitates... more life. Other life. Yeah, life imitates other life, even if unintentionally. My supervisor soon came up to the front of the room to guide people in along the sides of the room; we'd run out of seating room, but we can fit at least another 30 people in the standing room between teh walls and the chairs. We are so overcapacity that I can't even stay in the room to moderate (though I'm offered the chance to stay in the room if I wish to watch, there was a convention guest who showed up last and wanted to go in, so I let her), so I'm just asked to sit outside, and count the number of people who leave partway through for my capacity counts. It's overstuffed to the point where I can't let one person in unles at least 20 people leave... yeah, for one of the two most busy panels, that's not happening. Over the course of guarding Muppet Joker's door, I had some very intersting experiences. I was sitting on my chair and had to turn away a couple people, who then proceeded to sit down at the wall across from me all grumpy-like, complaining about why the volunteers overpacked the rooms. Also, Muppet Joker's panel was apparently a retelling of the Bible with a puppet show, but there were some weird things being chanted just at random. Every 6-7 minutes, there would be great chanting in unison of "YURI! YURI! YURI! YURI!" Usually, this was followed one minute later with "YAOI! YAOI! YAOI! YAOI!" Everytime this repeated chanting would happen, it would make me jump out of my chair. What were they doing in there??? There were other chanting moments too, some that sounded more like readings of a scripture or something. It literally brought me back to my much younger days when I went to church still, when the pastor would put up a Bible verse on the screen and get the congregation to read it out in unison. That's what that room sounded like during their longer, more fluid and less frantic chants. And all of this was from outside the room. You could definitely mistake it for a cult having some sort of summoning or whatever. Another happening is one of those grumpy latecomers yelling at me to ask about the Wi-Fi password, and I told her that I had no idea. They never told me one, so I assumed that we weren't supposed to get it. Then another guy sitting on that wall (not a grumpy one, but the boyfriend of the last girl to walk into the panel) yelled out what the password was, becuase I guess the convention attendees got them? Both the grumpy waiter and myself got on the Wi-Fi, and it made the wait a bit more bearable for all of us involved. I had to turn away some more people in the next 15 minutes, including some asking if I had seen a rather tall cosplayer dressed as Dante from 'Devil May Cry.' Yeah, no, I haven't. The tallest cosplayer in there was someone dressed as Gandalf with huge knockers, because of course someone dressed up as that cursed image edit. Soon after that, a old-ish lady came up to the two rooms I was closest to (each has one of the busy panels), and asked if there was any room left in them, in a perfect British accent. I told her there was not room and that I couldn't let anyone in anymore, and she proceeded to give me a sob story about how her daughter had wanted to come here for so long and that it was very difficult for them to get on the plane and attend. I told her that there was nothing I could do, but referred her to the desk where my supervisor was, since it's not really my place to make that judgement. Just 10 minutes later, I overhear something from that direction teaching that British mom about how conventions usually have accessibility passes and that she should apply for those next time, and my supervisor brings her daughter over to the other room. Well, good for her! That British mom thanks me for my help (I didn't do anything to help you though... I just told you "no" and made you not my problem...), and she joined the group of people sitting along the wall, but smiling as she looked on at her daughter taking a seat in the other room. Around 45 minutes in to the Muppet Joker panel starting, they started chanting "CRUCIFY! CRUCIFY! CRUCIFY!" I jumped and said what I was thinking out loud: "How are they already on that?? That didn't happen until the New Testament!" The grumpy people didn't laugh, but the Britisih mom did. A bit later, I went to give the 15 minute warning, and I don't think I can really describe what it felt like to see people holding up scripts and puppets (making the puppets make-out because that was in the Bible, right?), but Muppet Joker was really into it, so... No, I really don't know what to say about 120 people being in this room all cheering for these puppets kissing as the slides behind them said something about "biblical doomed yaoi" and all that. I... I can't be here. I can't stay here. As I headed out, some others headed out too, and it turns out they were the friends of the grumpy girl who asked for the Wi-Fi password. Grumpy girl was sort of passive-aggresive to her friends about how they didn't bother waiting for her, and then complained about the whole convention, saying there wasn't all that much to do. To be honest, I sort of agree. It kinda just felt like there were panels and vendors, since I knew I was not interested in the ball pit. I guess there were other events though, like an idol concert later, and the ball pit fight with Muppet Joker and some other famous person. Wait... Muppet Joker is going to be at that fight, but she's in this panel right now... When's that fight scheduled? Huh? In 5 minutes? How is she going to get there in time?? That's when my supervisor showed up, with a bunch of other volunteers gathered. Apparently, convention staff had told the combatants of the ball pit fight, who both had panels scheduled for right before said fight, that as soon as their panels were done they had to run as fast as possible to the scene of the pit. Us volunteers were not told that this was the plan until today, so my supervisor stationed us around the exit doors with the following instructions: as soon as you see the two panelists blitz away, when the crowd inside starts rampaging and chasing them outside, start yelling at them to walk within convention grounds. I was placed next to the doors, and told that Muppet Joker would not be leaving out of my doors, but on the alternate doors that regular attendees were not allowed to use. Got it, so I'm going to be in the direct line of trampling fire! Well, I can fight my way out if I need to, I guess. Muppet Joker and her assistant then blast out of the door I Was guarding, thanking me a lot for my help (WHY ARE YOU GOING OUT OF THIS DOOR???????), and I braced myself for the swarm. Which... never came? Instead, it was a slow trickling line that didn't even leave for another minute after Muppet Joker left? And... they were walking. No one was running or pushing or anything like that at all. I was intially doing the same as every other volunteer, yelling as loud as I can for them to walk and all, but I stopped almost right away when I realized that we didn't need to. The other volunteers didn't though, so maybe that's why? I don't know, I guess the attendees were a lot more civilized than we all thought. They were all headed in the same direction, the ball pit downstairs, so us volunteers got to relax a bit for the half hour so we could get prepared for the next panels. You know, I have a feeling that I'm going to get an opportunity to see the recording of the Muppet Joker panel at some point... but do I want to? I don't think I do.

The break was mostly short-lived, as the next panelists in my room arrived 20 minutes early. They were doing some sort of PowerPoint-based quiz show, and wanted to make sure everything was working before it all got started. The tech people in the room (including the next tech person volunteer showing up early for their shift, dressed in a dazzling Onceler cosplay) were happy that they were here earlier, and they told them where the panelists could get their laptop set up. THey looked at us volunteers in confusion. "Laptop? We were told we don't need to bring a laptop." What? Everyone has been bringing their own tech as far as I know. Everyone around me then got into a solution-finding mindset, trying out all sorts of options: using someone's phone to display the slides, trying to screen share from other stuff, a whole bunch of other stuff that I don't really care for. I decided to explain to them about the 5, 10, and 15 minute signal I would give them, then waited outside the room to handle the crowd that was already starting to line up. Over the next half hour, so many different staff and volunteer members ran in and out of the room to try and find a solution of some sort. My supervisor was carting around with her walker very aggresively just about everywhere, and her direct subordinates were doing the same, trying to track down staff members who could help. I was in and out getting progress updates to tell the people waiting in line. The staff members were trying to find a laptop for the panelists to use, and they had to come in and out becuase apparently it was their personal laptop and they needed to constantly unlock the password or something? And that was just the concentrated effort of about 8 people, rushing in and out of a room just to crowd around one laptop on a tiny platform to put the slides on the big screen. Because when they tried the actual quiz functionality of the slides, guess what? It didn't work at all! The pptx file was completely broken! Well, they had to call in a whole new set of volunteers and staff to figure that one out, taking 15 minutes to do so. My supervisor started to allow people with accessibility passes in to sit early, and all of them ended up getting spoiled for the first few questions as they tested and tested the pptx until finally, 20 minutes after the panel was supposed to start, they got it working. Working with my supervisor, we let in another 80 people from the line (the line outside the room was VERY misleading... how was I to know that the line had a hallway-sized gap in it to facilitate how massive the line was and not block the entire hallway???), becuase of course we need to go overcapacity on yet another room. Like that weird racoon physiology panel, just next door. Why did that have so many people interested in it???? I had to wait outside of my own panel once again, but I wouldn't actually be the one giving the timing warnings to the panelists. That's because my volunteer shift ends midway during this panel, and the volunteer replacing me at that shift change would replace me. She came up to me just after we were letting people in, and I gave her a rundown of how it all worked: the clipboard, the warnings, all that. We got to talking after that, and we both realized that we were working in essentially the same field. The difference was that she was already in the full-time role at some place, and I was still a temp who had to go back to my home city in about 2 months. I intially thought she was around the same age as me, so I asked if she was doing a temp position like me too, but it was really cool to talk to someone who was just ahead of me, but not so far ahead that I couldn't really relate too much to what she was saying. We talked about the type of work we do (in that we both said we couldn't talk about it at all due to how our workplaces limited what we can say about it), and she told me about her story through university, which was fascinating. I knew that things were a lot more rigorous over here, but the way she described finally made it actually click for me. She then offered to connect with me online so that when I look for jobs after I finish with this job, she migth be able to connect me with industry figures that she knows. The networking never ends, I suppose. We waited in silence for the next little bit, and I told her that if she had any questions about the volunteer role she could ask me, but that I would head out at the halfway point of the panel. We kinda just chilled in silence after that, and once that halfway point hit, I said my goodbyes. I also went and said goodbye to my supervisor to let her know I was leaving, and I let her know that she was a great supervisor: strict, yes, but clearly skilled and experienced.

Man, a fourth paragraph about this convention? Geez... Didn't think I'd have this much to say! After changing out of my volunteer shirt in the volunteer-only room (and leaving my water bottle there, being forced to reach over a staff member to grab it once I went back to collect it), I decided to explore the convention. Looking at the schedule, there wasn't a future panel I was interested in, and really it was only the idol show which was happening in another hour and a half or so. I thought to go explore the vendor hall again, but my stomach started to grumble. Oh yeah... I didn't eat lunch. Luckily, the food caterer was still here, so after buying myself a plate of large chicken fingers (why are they so big???) and a giant stack of unsalted French fries, I sat down next to a trashcan and hoped I didn't get flashed by people in skirts walking past. To my annoyance, some group of people that seemed to be friends decided to take a break form the convention by sititng in a circle right next to me, so I couldn't really enjoy my little lunch to myself at all. A lot of the attendees here were very strange, very loud, and very proud, but you know what? Good for them! THey annoyed me, they drained my energy simply by being around them, but you know what? That's ok! That's their life! They can go ahead with their own lives, and I can go ahead with mine. Even though I couldn't stand the energy in here very much, I was still very glad I went. Once I finished my food, it was back to the vendor's hall for me, looking for some more gifts and maybe something for myself... eh, probably not. It wasn;t until now that I really noticed just how expensive a lot of this stuff was, but I feel like that's because I am not very aware of how things are saupposed to be priced? I'm just not sure what things are typically worth, and I'm no good at apprising worth either. Like, is two charms for 20 dollah reasonable, or is 18 dollah for one enamel pin? I don't know anymore, but also, I never did! I texted my sister what she wanted, and she eventually told me she wanted some sort of merch of an "Alastor" from 'Hazbin Hotel.' I knew the general art style of that series but no idea what an "Alastor" was, so I looked around until I found a vendor that sold a bunch of that style of stuff. On the way, I passed by a young boy explaining 'One Piece' characters to his father, as they were standing in front of a vendor who had some large prints of each Straw Hat. When he got to Nico Robin, the boy mentioned that she's known as the Devil Child, and his dad began to call him that with a big smile on his face. Right across from this store was one with some 'Hazbin Hotel' stuff, and I asked which pieces had some "Alastors" in them, pointing me to two enamel pins. I had to call my sister twice to confirm which one she wanted, and after purchasing one of the pins I was also gifted a free "Alastor" ribbon. Huh..? I didn't buy a lot from this place, just the one pin but... I guess I'll give my sister this ribbon too. At this point there were still 15 minutes until the idol show, and I didn't feel like spending more money so I headed off to the stage early. There was a drag show still going on, and a drag queen was currently doing a very evocative and dance while wearing... well, not much. After that performance which I thought was cleanly choreographed (and drew the attention of the venue's security guards, for some reason), was a performance by another drag queen (I think). I say "(I think)" because they were wearing a full clown outfit and I don't think drag queens typically do that? Oh, and wrapped around that clown outfit was a whole ball pit, complete with a whole slew of balls. Anyways, this clown gave a bone-chillingly perfect rendition of 'I Dreamed A Dream' from 'Les Miserables,' complete with dramatic falls, stripping of ball pits, and tossing of ball pit balls in the crowd, without missing a beat or a note at all in the song. This is a person that has received serious voice training. Why are you singing this, and singing as wellas you are, here, in that get-up???? Geez... After a bit more of a wait, the drag show wraps up and the idol show starts gearing up. As they setup, I see one of the tech guys from the panel rooms down here, and I say hello! He's not wearing a volunteer shirt, and now that I think of it, he was also not wearing it back upstairs. He was exclusively managing the livestrem infrastructure too... is he working for the venue, not the convention? He denies that, telling me he actually works for the idol club that is putting on this idol show, but he agreed to help out the staff in other ways. Typically, he sets up the recording equipment for the idol club whenever they perform. Neat! He was a nice guy. I'll remember him the most, probably. Or maybe some of the other volunteers...? My supervisor, or the one who came to replace me, or the one who abandoned? Actually, maybe I won't forget this convention at all. Yeah... yeah... yeah... the idol show took a while to start, but once it did, I had a great time. THe crowd for it was not nearly as big as it was for the drag show, but while I could tell that the clubs dances were amateurish in terms of mechanical skill, it still was very impressive because they did it with all with a smile on their face. That's the most important part of being an idol on stage, after all! THe first performance was dedicated to the convention itself, as a someone dressed as a troll from 'Homestuck' and three others dressed as (what I assume are) other 'Homestuck' characters danced along to 'Karkalicious,' which is apparently a 'Homestuck' parody of 'Fergalicious.' This was easily the funniest performance of the show, because the lyrical content is actual gold (to only a select few Internet FREAKS of course), and because of the fifth member of the crew on this song. A short guy dressed as Sans Undertale was actually bobbing to the song just in front of the stage the whole time. At first, I thought he was just some random in the crowd who was just trying to get some 15 minutes of fame, but when he started lifting up signs that matched the lyrical content of the song? That? That was also gold. The first sign was, of course, a drawn picture of a bathtub filled with silver Sharpie ink, and then for every spelling of "tastey" and "delicious," he would hold up a sign spelling out those words and point to each letter to keep track. What an amzing performance! There were a whole bunch more performances too, with some memorable ones being a cosplayer of Uta from 'One Piece' giving a genuinely amazing and gorgeous performance of 'New Genesis' (and she came here from Jersey??? from Jersey?? people actually live in Jersey??? they have 'One Piece' in Jersey?????), one of the leaders of the idol club just getting to be in 4 separate performances for some reason, the other idol club leader doing a dance to a 'Love Live!' song (one I hadn't heard before because it was from 'Nijigasaki'), one performance that sound like a 'Hello Kitty' girl's soundtrack of the heart (with one person who clearly didn't know the routine, but maybe that was the intention?), and one that seemed vaguley cattish and yaoi-ish. Now there was one performance that happened right after the 'Karkalicious' that I haven't mentioned. As I watched the 'Karkalicious' performance, there was this girl in front of me in a rather frilly yet short dress, who was looking on very excitedly next to her boyfriend. After the troll and the other Housetrappeds left the stage, that girl walked on next. The idol club leader mentioned that she would be performing a classic from the original 'Love Live!' Immediately, my interest was piqued. This? This would be peak. I waited in anticipation, wondering what song she chose when I hear those wailing guitars: 'Angelic Angel,' my favourite song from the movie! And her dance was quite cute! It obviously wasn't the actual dance associated with 'Angelic Angel' since it's choreographed for 9 people, but this girl seemed to give it her all.

Then she opened her mouth when the vocals were supposed to kick in.

Look. I know that I shouldn't criticize the passsions of others. If it's loved, it's alright. That's the philosophy I try to follow when I hear about the things that make other people tick. But this girl's singing was something else. I had been treated to so many good voices today that the off-key singing immediately took me out of things. And yes, I guess it was impressive that she was singing memorized Japanese lyrics at the same time as her dance (which had now deteriorated to simple side steps), but... I don't know. I couldn't stand her voice, but I love 'Angelic Angel' and the passion she was showing regardless, so I guess that makes it all alright in the end. It ruined the song at first, but if I let this performance devalue the song itself, can I really say I enjoy the song? And is it really right for me to hate on this girl? In the moment, I thought it was, but now? I think it's alright. If it's loved, mm?

But yeah, for real, there was one thing that I hated about her dance and that was her frequent use of making a heart symbol with her hands and pointing it at her boyfriend constantly, especially when a lyric related to love came up. Blegh. Keep that to yourselves. Well, I guess they were, since probably very few people knew that was what she was doing. I can see how it would be cute... ok, yeah, it is cute. Maybe one day, I could do something similar... Hee hee, that'll be quite the day, won't it!

The idol show wrapped up with one last dance number from the entire club, and after they took their bows, I knew it was time for me to leave. What a day! As I walked out through the parking lot and towards the bus stop, I couldn't help but laugh at the whole ridiculousness of how all of that went. I won't be around this city when they next do this convention, if they choose to do it again, but I think I would volunteer for it again. When I reached my bus station though, and sat down, I realized how exhuasted I was. Man. What a day!! I was sitting at that bus stop exhausted but still posed as if I could unload a personal life story of 40 years in 10 minutes, like an old wise sage in his study when the young brutish heroes burst in the first time: and that's because it's exactly how I felt! In fact, after the long, conveniently well lined-up, and tired (I did actually fall asleep for a good 5 minutes on the bus, which rarely happens) bus ride back to my place, I ended up on a call with Blue-haired and Grey-haired, recounting these very events. We were playing more 'Deltarune,' getting close to finishing the fourth chapter but still a ways away, but I couldn't really focus on that. I was still thinking about the horrors from earlier, and the joys. That convention, those people. Is that freedom?

Certainly, those people did have a certain freedom. To be who they were, unashamedly, among others who were just as unashamed. But I don't think you need to present yourself as you are to the world to be free. That's one way to show you are free, but I think what I learned is that it might be tiring to constantly present youself as free to the world, at least for me. But I think I have my own freedom, not one that I suddenly gained by going to a convention, but one I became more aware of because of it. The me that I am, the one I present here on this blog, has generally become more free as I've been here and been doing all sorts of new things. But that freedom doesn't necessarily need to be shown to everyone. I have my own freedom, and I spend a lot of my time basking in it alone. Of course, I let it show sometimes at work, free to giggle and laugh and just about anything, free to live and do things the way I do. Maybe I don't yet get exactly what it means to have an air crackling with freedom, but I think it's finally been solidified to me how one could potentially live in their freedom. There isn't a wrong way, I think. Well, no. There is a wrong way, for me, which might be the right way for you. At most, you can only look at concepts, thinks like relatoinships and freedom, from another side as compared to another. And as for this call? Well, after nearly falling asleep in it, once it was over, it was straight to bed. I can be free, yessiree, but right now it's bedtime for me. A well-earned rest, I would say.

After the sheer strangeness and wackiness of yesterday, it just felt so strange to have to be normal on Sunday. No calls, no going out, just a grocery delivery in the morning, 'Balatro' and 'Yohane' in the daytime and afternoon, and bloghan all evening. I know that I'm going to be thinking of that insanity of yesterday for a long time from now. But, I guess that's just how it goes, on the raft ride of life that never ends.

Future plans

Here's the results of last week's plans:

Bloghan catch up: not as much catch up as I'd like to have done, but one week's worth done nonetheless!
Door: no progress
July 1st stroll: yep, got myself a treat and everything too!
Raft ride: never ends
Convention: attended, swapped panel, volunteered, attended, and left. Why did it happen? Why did I go? Why did it happen, numero dos?

Next up, I've still got more catching up on those bloghans to do. Honestly, that's basically it. I mean, there is still actually finishing the D&D campaign, and maybe even doing a week of fasting to make up for going overbudget on food last month, but those are kind of things that just happen in the background, not really actively done like bloghan writing. I will also be going back to that amuesment park for another company event, but we'll see how that goes. And of course, the raft ride never ends.

Song of the week

'Raft Ride' (https://youtu.be/VxScpOvarVE) from 'the Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening' is the song of the week. The raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends the raft ride never ends and the raft ride never ends.

Until next time

There's so many things that I still need to do, still want to do, before my time here is up. And even if I have more and more writing and work to do, I'm not going to put absolutely everything I want to do on hold. I don't know why, but I've recently started to grasp my life more and more, and started acting more and more on my desire to do the stuff I want to. I won't apologize for that, and neither should you. All that to say... nah, maybe later. Sometimes, writing bloghan (and similarily, when reading bloghan) feels like a raft ride that never ends. What can I do? What can you do? Just, see you next week, I suppose!

- bubbler

Click to return to bloghan